“Emotions go up like an elevator but the door to reason is on the ground floor. Emotion coaching can get you there.” Dr. Adele Lafrance
We all need connection and validation. When a child is experiencing big emotions, caregivers have the power to coach them through it. Remember, the emotion needs to run its course and validation helps. Take a deep breath and check in with your own emotions. If we are calm, we are better equipped to help calm our children. The next step is to validate our child’s emotions. Big emotions feel scary. It can feel like we are encouraging our child’s outburst, when in fact we are walking them safely through it. When we validate children’s feelings, we help them off-load them. This makes space for calm. Remain calm, open and not defensive. When a child explodes or melts down, they are expressing a need to feel heard and connected. Try to imagine why your child feels that way and show them you understand (even if you disagree!). The key to validation is changing but to because and following it with 3 reasons why they may be feeling that way. Match your child’s volume and tone. Instead of: “You’re feeling sad about what is happening, but don’t worry, you’ll get through it.” Try: “You’re feeling sad because you’re missing your friends, you can’t do the normal activities you love, and school feels harder from home.” Activity: The next time your child experiences an outburst of emotion, try to validate their feelings. Anger: I don’t blame you for feeling angry because ________ because ________ and because ________. Sadness: Of course you’re feeling sad, because ________ because ________ and because ________. Fear: It’s okay to feel worried or afraid. Things feel unsure right now because________ because ________ and because ________. Visit https://www.mentalhealthfoundations.ca/resources for more resources for parents surrounding emotion-coaching and supportive your child’s emotional well-being. (Source: https://e78f226b-636a-4b6d-b774-75ca09eb3c0c.filesusr.com/ugd/c390c7_2a970b5df7ee40428dedb31d25a4c843.pdf) |
AuthorSchool counsellors passionate about supporting our community. ArchivesCategories |